I went back and forth about writing this post. I’ve had a roller coaster ride with some of my friendships, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I keep my circle tight and close. I wish I could say I’ve been friends with certain people for decades, but that is not the case. I am friendly with my childhood friends but I wouldn’t call them close, and that’s nobodies fault. Just because we grew up 10 miles from each other doesn’t mean we have to be best friends for the rest of our lives. People grow, change and move forward aka I grow and I change, and I move forward.
So many people have a skewed sense of friendship I finally decided to breakdown and talk about it.
Friends will not always agree with you. This is a big one in my book. Over the years I’ve noticed a lot of my friends kept it surface with me. We always had a good time together and they never mentioned any of my downfalls like my choices in men or any destructive cycle that might be occurring in my life. This isn’t helpful for me. As much as I want to have fun and laugh all the time the job of a friend is to point out things you might miss. Friends might be able to see things you don’t. I hate being told I’m wrong in any aspect of my life, but I would rather my friend call me out then talk about me behind my back, which happens more than I would like to admit.
I’ve had a few bad fights with some friends. It was unpleasant and heart breaking, but in the end, I felt better because I expressed my truth regardless if they agreed with me or not. Time moves and people need time to heal, and that’s ok. Just because you don’t talk to someone every day or every week doesn’t mean your friendship is over. If the friendship bond is real at some point in your life you will make up and fall right back into your happy space. And if by chance you never makeup that’s fine too, as long as you learn from the experience.
I’ve been in situations where I expressed what I was feeling and not only did my friends not hear me but they cut me off and never called me again. This one cut me to my core because I love and care for these people, but in the end, everyone has to protect themselves. If you aren’t making me a better person or if I can’t tell you when you’ve hurt my feelings then there is no point in continuing a friendship with you. Yep, it sucks, but I will be happier in the long wrong surrounding myself with people that I can keep it real with, no matter who is right or wrong.